"Not a hint that she was devastated,
nor even tempted for a moment to doubt that all is best.
It is in fact, difficult to find anywhere in the writings of Amy Carmichael
anything akin to the poets admission, 'oft we doubt.'"
-Elisabeth Elliot
Any human ability to have faith in the goodness of God in the midst of a seemingly "crashing circumstance" is a total gift from God. It is this realization that seeing the world and seeing my life and seeing God as good in so many ways is a gift. A grace that is completely unmerited, undeserved and it's one I could never earn-- no matter who I become, what I do with my life, whom I serve or where I am in the world...
Grace is a God-gifted way of seeing, a way of seeing that the believer's call to thanksgiving is truly an invitation to gain the perspective of trusting in Him who has given all. He rescued, but the story of God and His redeemed does not end with a prayer to save from hell-flame. No, God's salvation is in the daily living and recognizing moments as moments that are deemed good for you, a gift, a grace, from the "I AM" God. The God of every moment.
It's in that practice of every-moment-remembering-trust-in-God, that I have found joy. Joy? Yes, joy that only comes from God as only He can reveal in a life. He revealed it specifically to me in the words of the Bible. Though I struggle, loose my way, though I feel pain and loss, I have a New Hope each day that says that allows me to say: "yes, I hurt, yes, I don't understand," but this hope also reminds me that my God doesn't leave me there in the rawness of the shock, the emotion the hurt. No, I'm discovering His love in a whole new way, that rescues from everyday despair. He rescues me, and sets me high upon a Rock that is higher than I- that is His joy, a peace thay surpasses all understanding.
What I've found in this truth? I never want to leave. (I need daily reminders to NOT LEAVE!) I never want to go back to the striving. I want to be drawn into deeper understanding and loving my Abba with each passing day.
Because you know, this life? What is it but a training ground for eternity? And Joy in this life: is the same as joy in eternity: God. Oh my heart, I long for you dear sister, dear brother, to yes, dare I say it EXPERIENCE God every day. He is the Giver of all good gifts. Turn away from the praising of the gift, and God is honored in our satisfaction in Him.
Name the moments, name the good, name the hard, the ugly, and you may find yourself in the midst of an act of believing and trusting God is. That He is Creator of each day, and a day we can and ought to rejoice in! He came to give abundant life and this is how to live it! In joy in praise and thankfulness, to Him no matter your current situation in life.
Why are you downcast oh my soul? Awake to the nearness and presence of GOD! Immanuel GOD WITH US.
Practically what I have been learning is to keep a notebook handy, and just write my stream of consciousness in it, instead of spamming facebook, texts, and blogger with unruley thoughts that are frantic with the untainted unknown future. Instead I'm learning to turn triggers to worry into means of trusting God with my likes, discomfort, hurts and happiness.
This and many more are the thoughts and lessons of the past few months. Lessons that are deeply real. When unbridled wild thoughts come stampeding through my brain I will stand by my God's grace alone (quite literally), His grace -a testimony of His goodness in the past- Eturnal life salvation in His hands and the promise of His presence in the future.
Oh for grace to trust Him more.
I will continue to be a student of these joy-lessons for the rest of eternity Lord willing. All of life all for His glory. This. is. life.
This is abundant life, counting the graces, and turning around and being the blessing to others. Not out of duty, or self-righteous "right thing to do," but because of the God-breathed-realization of His love for you in everyday moments. Because what He says is true, it is more blessed to give than to receive. (Brain of mine, remember that.) This is where I want to live my next days, months and years. In true joy/trust-driven-love-service of my Abba God. Show me how to love like you have loved me. I want to find meaning for my being, in just being His. It is important to realize Who's you are, not WHO YOU are. For you are bought with a price, therefore glorify God with your body.
"Spirit convince us of this truth, that all is well because we know God through the perfect work of Jesus Christ. Let that change the way we view our circumstances in this broken world."
-Pastor Mark of Redeemer Bible Church
And it’s then that working hard at our callings pleases God as we seek to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever by doing the good works that He has prepared in advance for us.
It is trusting God like Amy Carmichael, that the circumstances can be what they will, and still it is well with my soul because Romans 8:28 rings true.
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
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