Regardless, God's goodness and grace He has paraded in front of my face in the last seven years as a teen has changed who I am. I recall the good times with friends and family and I want them back; but on the other hand, I'm *so* glad that things like algebra class, the panic of driving a car on the interstate, and my distain for mushrooms are in the past... Growing up has its perks. ;)
I can't help but be in awe of my Abba God for redeeming time as hours turn into days, and days to years, and years to whole decades of grace-swelling life.
The memories are so numerous they are as the multitude of green leaves on the tossing branches on the mature maple tree outside my window. I want to be able to remember, and to write about each of the individual unique leaves, but alas, they are swimming through the wind-and the memories-too , they swirl in the wind of my mind the same. I'll sit here long enough to grab just a few of them and hold them up in the light for a second.
1. God has a way of using -what may be in my mind- "un-ideal" circumstances to change my thinking, and to draw my heart toward Him. Time and time again, He has used the silliest of things like -huge crushes and my relctance to clean the house- to remind me that this life I live isn't about me, and to love, depend, and trust Him. He's big and He's got this world in his hands, truly. He "clothes my faith with certainty."
2. Mismatch dress up themed parties are always a good idea. Purposefully looking like a dork for a while is just a blast. I hope to never grow too creaky and crotchety to enjoy making a laughable fool of myself every once in a while. I sure did enjoy it in my teens, every so often my friend and I were sure my true hair color was blonde. Oh well!
3. Music changes things. There have been several times that God has met me in a special way through the words of praise or prayer in a song throughout the last year especially. One that was very real to me was during worship in Herrnhut Germany. God reminded me that He is the true and better everything.
And then, this morning, at Candeo God moved me again through a song.
Let me give you a bit of background: You see, I abhor talking about me and my clue-less-ness of where I'm "supposed to be," or even where I think I want to be in life all the time.
Last week I had a plethora of life changing thoughts, calls, and meetings. I've been interviewed for a job that may or may not go through in Minnesota, I've talked to a possible landlady in Colorado Springs, and set up a admissions meeting at UNI for the end of next week.
I don't want to sound over dramatic, but I feel a little like my life is completely up in the air. And to be honest, I'm SO excited to get started on school and work again, but at the same time I've been kinda terrified. Cause, seriously, I don't know what or where the school and work are.
I have dreams, but all I can do is quietly give them to God at this moment. I'm living the very essence of life in the hallway, the in-between, the storm of the unknown foggy future. But oh my soul, remember, only the immediate future is unknown. That's grace, that we as believers are able to know that the eternal fuuuuuture is sure. My God has saved me, and will use me to bring Him glory. Why do I forget His Words about today, this moment of unknown?
"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
Phil. 4:19
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Rom. 8:28
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matt. 6:33
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Rom. 8:38-39
The gathered church sang these lyrics loud and strong this morning- as I croaked the words out- because, life in the hallway pinches my stomach a bit sometimes, but God's goodness even in the very second beemed brightly through my thoughts.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
Yet again, my heart has been reminded afresh that God IS honestly faithful to His children. He has NEVER failed me, and just because these meetings and decisions are bigger than normal (it seems to me), doesn't mean He won't be with me while I make them.
If you would pray with me that God would be glorified in the direction that I chose sometime very soon, I would really ap
preciate it.
Thanks for sticking with me friends, through the past 7+ years. I thank God today for how He has brought us together in the past, and look forward how He will work in our next 10 years. May they be years that see us grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Looking back. Looking forward. See life-sustaining grace. Giving thanks. That's what this day has been marked by so far. Glad to have had time to reflect on life as a teen, and the memories made, and how God is consistent to remind me of truth. I'm confident God has this life, He has this week, no matter what happens in it and beyond: You are my God, I trust You.
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