Thinking through...

Lacking in faith, but really searching for the reasons behind why the Bible is God's word.  How it is true, and realistic. I will never be perfect this side of Heaven. But I must find the faith to carry on. To stand on the Promises of Christ our King. Jesus is the only one who can calm my mind... 

"casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 

(1 Peter 5:7 ESV)

Why did I start to question the fact that the Bible is historically accurate in the first place?  A few weeks ago was because of a book that I was reading for class. It's titled More Than a Carpenter, it brought up some examples of opposition of the Bible. Refuting them as brought up.  But it got me thinking, and I kept thinking wrongly that the Bible was somehow written by one evil mastermind. Don't ask me where the heck I got that idea.  But it really was probably a good thing for my spiritual life, because from it I have got to spend more time in the Word of God reading about faith, and the apostle's writings saying that they are eyewitnesses, etc. The Bible has NEVER been proven wrong.  In fact, when people set out to do that, they end up becoming believers! (As was the case for the author of More Than A Carpenter.)

 http://www.newcreationstudies.org/NewCreation/proof.htm -really good resource for accuracy and believability of the Bible!

I'm trying to understand what my faith is based on.  I know the experiences with God and his people have been real and authentic. I love Him and want to believe unfaltering from the truth of His Word.  Yes, doubting Tomas has been brought to my attention. He had been with Jesus as a disciple as Jesus was doing miracles right before his eyes; yet, he needed proof that Jesus ACTUALLY rose from the dead.  But once he had seen, touched and believed he became a strong bold witness for Christ.  I can't help but wonder if something like that is happening to me.  Once I dug for "external evidence" that the Bible is historically founded and grounded.  I have the hard-core belief and commitment that is very helpful in sharing the good news of Christ, dying for the sin of the world and rising again, living and reigning in heaven right now.  

I really don't want to blindly just say "oh yeah, my way is the way just cause I always do it."  Seeking out the research and archaeologic findings and such to make my faith more real.  Am I the only one who has thought this way after they have become a Christ-follower?  I definitely want to believe everything the Bible says.  I have no reason to DISbelieve.  But why the stinking doubts?  I hate having them even in my brain.  I have seen God work in my life through the Holy Spirit pricking my conscience about different situations, through awe-inspiring things in Creation, and his just being there to listen when I pour my silly mishaps to him in prayer... His Spirit is here.  

Kristi Payne one of my youth group leaders gave me this truth... that I can't intellectualize faith. That's a hard concept... Also she reminded me of 2 Timothy 3:16-17

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it [15] and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. [16] All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, [17] that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 

(2 Timothy 3:14-15; 2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV)

I tend to identify with Francessca Battistelli... Talking to God, in the song "Unpredictable"

You said the foolish
Would shame the wise
To put my faith
In what’s beyond my eyes
And to believe You
I have to come as a child

So help me to rest in the mystery
Of what I can’t understand

Can’t wrap my mind around You
Can’t put You in a box
Can’t keep You safely contained
You’re gonna move the way
You wanna move today
Just let me follow along

And the song "Behind The Scenes." The second verse and chorus:

Things aren’t always what they seem
You’re only seeing part of me
There’s more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I’m incomplete and I’m undone
But I suppose like everyone
There’s so much more that’s going on
Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can’t see
Anything
Through the dark
Surrounding me
And at times I’m unsure
About the ground
Beneath my feet
If it’s safe and sound

When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen

I have peace in knowing it will find me

Yes Lord Jesus!  

Faith is necessary.  

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. [6] But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. [7] For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; [8] he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.  (James 1:5-8 ESV)

Please pray for me. Pray that my faith would be increased beyond all limits. That I would be willing to die for what I KNOW to be true. That I would even be willing to share (let alone die for) the truth of the Gospel and God's love for all of humanity.  That I would have peace in knowing the Bible is God's word, and that I would be a light a "city on a hill" to a yuck-ness filled, crappy, lost and empty world.   I do want to be a bold witness, doing whatever God wills me to do with my life.  

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

*Sorry if this post doesn't make very much sense, and lost you in the middle of the writing... It's like I know in my heart whats right; but my brain is being blechy. haha